i woke up again and thought
this is still my life
the bottles on the nightstand the ones with my name
printed small and official
they’re the only thing that remembers me anymore
i used to think when someone said i love you
it meant something like stay
but now i think it just means
i’m scared to be alone right now
god i’m sorry but i don’t believe in you
my hands used to make things
now they just lie here
i don’t even want to anymore
that’s how i know something is really wrong
every day i’m learning how easy it is
to take up less space
just stop calling people back
stop washing your hair
stop acting like any of this matters
the truth is the trees would be fine without me
better even
one less person using up the air
i think i’m becoming see through
like those jellyfish we saw that summer
the ones that were barely there
and i’m not fighting it
i’m just letting myself drift
toward whatever comes after wanting
after trying
after the long exhausting work
of being a person
the pills know
the silence knows
my body has always known
where this was going
—lyra moon (barely there / drifting out)
february 2, 2026